Lovely Weather We Are Having

crack monkey: it looks like shit soup outside
butterfly: lol you aren't kiddin
butterfly: i feel like i'm in sleepy hollow
butterfly: minus johnny depp. :( boo.
crack monkey: boo indeed

The Good News

butterfly says : oh hi
butterfly says : how's baxter?
{side note to you readers : baxter is crack monkey's new puppy - not significant other...although it would be funny if he was pooping everywhere. ;)}
crack monkey says: oh hi. he's good. pooping everywhere.
butterfly says : but of course ;)
butterfly says : can't wait to see the little booger.
crack monkey says: he needs to meet his aunt *butterfly*
butterfly says: so i got a text message from rebound douchalay saying "what's the good news?"
crack monkey says: omg
crack monkey says: really?
butterfly says: uh...i didn't even respond...i wanted to kick him in the face through text
butterfly says: douche.
butterfly says: only douches say that
crack monkey says: kick him in the junk for that
crack monkey says: or reply "the good news is that you're apparently still single. there's hope for women after all!"
crack monkey says: ;)
butterfly says: lol - just gonna wash my hands of him....if i don't respond to any of his messages, hopefully he will get the hint...
crack monkey says: karma's gonna get me for that one
butterfly says: lol *crack monkey*!!!!!!!!
butterfly says: you have become so crass in your old age
butterfly says: :p
butterfly says: can't wait to see how you are 10 years from now
butterfly says: ehhehehe
butterfly says: i <3 it!
crack monkey says: i know. ugh, i'm so gonna be like weezer in steel magnolias
butterfly says: and that's a heart - not BALLS

Luscious

butterfly: i need a BIG DRINK

like really BIG

lol

today blows ass.

crack monkey: we need to go to razzoo's and get you a fish bowl

butterfly: um GROSS

crack monkey: lol

butterfly: i would throw up

i need one of those gigantic wine glasses with a whole bottle of wine poured in

;)

crack monkey: screw the glass. just drink from the bottle

butterfly: lol

touche

crack monkey: lol, let's just sit on the side of the street drinking wine from a paper bag. ;)

butterfly: what are ya'll doin? oh it's early halloween - we are hobos

crack monkey: we're practicing for halloween

no, we're sure we don't have a problem

butterfly: lol

crack monkey: no, no intervention needed, thanks though

butterfly: move along then...

nothing to see here....

Sent at 10:47 AM on Friday

crack monkey: nothing to see here - can we have $5?

Sent at 10:52 AM on Friday

butterfly: lmao!

we are so classy

crack monkey: we ooze class

and wine

Not So Funny, But TRUE None-The-Less

i called crack monkey this morning about this up-in-arms shit about the president addressing the school students next week. i said i was going to call my daughter's school district directly and instead of saying i don't want my child to see it, i DO want her to have the option of seeing it....

crack monkey: did you give administration hell?
butterfly: yes - on hold for 30 minutes
butterfly: finally got through. asked what the reasoning behind them not showing the presidential address was "too many parents complained"
butterfly: me - "what were they compliaining about exactly"
butterfly: admin : "we just had too many phone calls from parents and decided we will not be showing it. it will be video taped and available in video though"
butterfly: REALLY?!?!?!??!?!?!??!!
butterfly: so i have a phone call into ladybug's principal right now
crack monkey: you know...this could have been the coolest thing in these kids' lives.
butterfly: i am so tired of ignorance
butterfly: truly
crack monkey: the thing they look back on that motivated them to stay in school, go to college and get a good job
butterfly: so what i might just do it pull ladybug out of school while its on, get her to a computer for her to watch and take her back to school
butterfly: and if they count her absent during that time, so be it
butterfly: i will cause hell on top of that if they do
crack monkey: i still remember getting to talk via video to the people while they were discovering the titanic wreck
crack monkey: it was awesome
crack monkey: this would have trumped that
crack monkey: i hate people
butterfly: lol
butterfly: me too
crack monkey: ignorant, knee jerk reactionists that don't know progess even when it's biting them in the butt
crack monkey: "intellectualism" has become "elitist"
butterfly: amen sister
crack monkey: stupid, stupid people

Angels and Demons

crack monkey: i need your opinion.

b just texted "good morning angel face". i want to reply "good morning cherub butt"

yes? no?

butterfly: gonna go ahead and say NO to that one

wait...no....do it!

crack monkey: damn.

yes?

butterfly: seriously do it

yes

crack monkey: is it rude? i think it's funny, but...

i don't want him to think i'm making fun of him

butterfly: i think it's funny too

hopefully he will

crack monkey: oh god. i sent it

you're supposed to be my voice of reason

FAIL

;)

butterfly: i am...but when something is funny and you should do it...

well...

you just should.

crack monkey: he loved it. :)

whew

butterfly: nic

nice

no fail

:P

crack monkey: yeah, you get a pass this time. ;)

butterfly: next time i keel you

vrrrrrrt

Friday Banter

crack monkey : http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/07/30/superstar/
butterfly : *crack monkey*, how did you get your photo on there?
butterfly : :P
crack monkey: heh
crack monkey: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/08/23/the-cabbage-patch-diaries/
butterfly: LOL
butterfly: that's just scary.
butterfly: um so.
butterfly: i have a beautiful man who added me as a friend yesterday randomly on facebook and wrote me a very sweet message last night and said i was beautiful.
butterfly: uh HE is beautiful.
crack monkey: wow!
butterfly: maybe a sign?
butterfly: funny how it happened RIGHT NOW
butterfly: anyway...
butterfly: who knows
butterfly: just made me smile.
crack monkey: yes a sign! invite him to *the bar we are going to tonight*.
butterfly: dude
butterfly: NO
butterfly: boys all around
butterfly: you know better than that
butterfly: lol
crack monkey: heh, you're right
crack monkey: but still
butterfly: lol
crack monkey: would be a test of how much bs he can stand.
butterfly: https://www.snuggiefordogs.com/flare/next?tag=ossmgotm
butterfly: the world is officially ending
crack monkey: yes. yes it is

Gotta Give Her Props for Tryin'

crack monkey: i think we're alone now
crack monkey: doesn't seem to be anyone around
crack monkey: i think we're alone now
crack monkey: the beating of my heart is the only sound
butterfly: vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
butterfly: it's cute how you try and get me
butterfly: :P
crack monkey: dammit
crack monkey: HERE I AM
crack monkey: ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
crack monkey: lol - that still makes me crack up
butterfly: hehehe

Friday 8:59pm via text

butterfly : Just got in bed and popped in The Lake House. Dear Lord help me.
crack monkey : Ohs noes. Playing punching game at the bar. Help me.
butterfly : We both need help.

Saturday 8:27am via text

crack monkey : Ouch. The boys are a bad influence.
butterfly : The story of our lives.

word of the day - "uh"

crack monkey : wanna hear something creepy?
butterfly : of course
crack monkey : lol - nice response. ;)
*s*'s best friend *n* texted me last night
wanted to know if i wanted to meet him at *a bar* for a drink
:I
butterfly : uh
crack monkey :ya
butterfly : whoa
crack monkey : ya
butterfly : uh
crack monkey : wtf was THAT?
butterfly : that's a big
uh
crack monkey : yeah.
i told him i wasn't the one driving and was staying at *another bar*
his response "another time then"
:I
facebook status "crack monkey is...creeped out."
butterfly : LOL!
i can't stop saying or thinking
uh
crack monkey : LOL
butterfly : so blank
just
uh
lol
crack monkey : LMAO
butterfly : maybe it's the left over affects of my ambien
crack monkey : probably
butterfly : kind of like a duh without the d
crack monkey : better than der
butterfly : very true. but never-the-less, that story still deserves an UH
cuz that's just
weirddddddddd
crack monkey : no doubt. haven't heard from the dude in 10 months
butterfly : well could be a number of things
possible that maybe he wanted to talk to you about *s*
crack monkey : that's what i was thinking
butterfly : possible that maybe he felt close to you as a friend when ya'll were together and figured why the hell not - she's a cool chick
or thirdly - maybe he's had the hots for you and wants to shag you
crack monkey : goo. that's what *the davish one* said.
butterfly : well *the davish one*'s the guy
so *the davish one* is probably right
crack monkey : LOL
butterfly : for once
crack monkey : LOL
butterfly : and don't tell him i said that
crack monkey : um, never
butterfly : LOL
cuz he's wrong too many times
i wouldn't want to make his head any bigger than it already is
crack monkey : we should write a book with our funny IM's
some of this shit is gold

----------------------------

and so it begins....

they're playing our song

crack monkey : can you listen to mp3's there?
butterfly : i believe so yes
crack monkey : enjoy. :)
butterfly : ah that was fantabulous!
good song to be in love with.
who is it?
crack monkey : blind pilot
butterfly : i like it muy macho
crack monkey : lol, now i have the aladdin song in my head
butterfly : hehehe i was SOOOOOOOOO hoping you were going to say that
crack monkey : damn you!
butterfly : i was proud of my sly move there
crack monkey : i gave you a song of beauty!
gah!
butterfly : LOL!
crack monkey : shakes fist towards *butterfly's place of work*
butterfly : LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sticks tongue out towards *crack monkey's place of work*
crack monkey : LOL
i'm rolling
butterfly : rollin with the homiessssssssssss
crack monkey : damn you again!
butterfly : LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crack monkey : woob. :(
rollin with ali baba had them 40 thieves, who are playin' our song
butterfly : ali baba has good food by the way
HAHAHA
crack monkey : very much so
butterfly : we are siamese if you please
ba dum dum dum
crack monkey : i hate you
butterfly : ok i'm done
i love you too
crack monkey : :D

fookin italians

crack monkey: hey, where do you get your shin guards for soccer?
butterfly : soccer city
you can also get them at academy or sports authority
crack monkey : got another softball to the shin, in the exact same place.
butterfly : uh
need shin guards :)
crack monkey : but softball shin guards are stupid huge
butterfly : yah just get soccer ones you should be fine
crack monkey : will you come with me? am a total retard when it
comes to soccer stuff. might end up wearing it on my head.
butterfly : oh dear. haha yes.
you are supposed to be italian - soccer is in your blood
lol
crack monkey : hay! i resemble that remark. ;)
butterfly : lol!